Photo by Jana Rabenhauptova

17^th of November 1989 – the start of the ‘velvet revolution’;

the beginning of the fall of communism in Czechoslovakia. The ‘iron curtain’ is opening letting us, children of the 70s and 80s to peep behind it and see a glimpse of the West. 

2^nd of July 1990 – a long journey in a cramped privately run 10-seater minibus service from Prague to Dusseldorf. First love left behind, broken heart aching yet full of expectations and excitement at the opportunity to spend a month with a German family, which has invited me to spend some time with them to improve my German. An old friend of our family has put me in touch with this family near Dusseldorf in a first place.

It was hard for me to decide at first whether to accept their kind offer or not. My first big love was standing in the way of my decision. Ultimatums given by my teenage boyfriend of that time such as ‘me or Germany’ were difficult hurdles to get over. With a heavy heart and a ‘push’ from my father who has longed most of his life to have such opportunities of travel during communist time, I went. I was just 18…

A few weeks before I went, I have written to them, they wrote back and we have agreed to meet outside a train station in Dusseldorf. And when I arrived there, to my great relief they were waiting. They have two fabulous boys, who were around 5 & 10 that time.

My German was far from perfect and very much school-learned with no experience of casual conversation but I understood that they were trying to explain to me that they were actually waiting for me there the day before because the way I wrote number 2 in my letter (for the 2^nd of July) apparently looked more like number 1 (1^st of July). With no internet or mobile phones such misunderstandings were happening quite often then. The phenomenon of instant (and constant) communication these days prevents a lot of these mix-ups. Luckily they did not make me feel silly or like if I have been wasting their time (though I am sure the host mother had to take an extra day off to collect me). I remember us laughing at it and we were all happy to finally meet.

On the way to their house we stopped in a Greek restaurant. I was not used to eating in restaurants and certainly not in Greek restaurants. I have ordered a salad thinking I cannot go wrong with such a choice. But when it came and I saw something resembling small octopus (as previously seen only on TV) and black olives, I was surprised (to say the least). I picked out and ate what I liked. The host mother (let’s call her Mary) told me that once you eat seven olives one after the other, you get to like them. I tried (though not seven I don’t think) and I like olives ever since. As long as you try, nobody can say that you did not try! Now I tell my children and all people that don’t like olives that and for some of them it works!

I still remember so clearly arriving in their house, stepping into their hall and starting to take my shoes off (the usual custom back at home). The host father  looked at me, smiled and said that I don’t have to do that. I was amused especially that I could see with the corner of my eye a very light coloured carpet in the next room. Then I thought he must know what he is saying and that maybe streets in Germany are much cleaner than in Czechoslovakia. Then we proceeded through the house and they wanted to show me their garden and I was going to step outside with no shoes (since I did take them off). They said that I can walk in the garden with no shoes but they usually wear shoes there too. We laughed.

It was my first time seeing a microwave and a dishwasher; I thought they were the coolest gadgets ever as they saved you so much of the most boring kitchen work. I could not believe, later when I saw US films made in the 50s and 60s, that such appliances were in use already back then. I feel angry at communism’s lack of promoting of these great inventions and for robbing my family of so many peaceful Sunday afternoon that I spent arguing with my sister over who is washing up and who is drying! Thank goodness washing machines did make it through the censorship of approved household appliances even in communist countries! For the first time I had other than ketchup sauce with my spaghetti though it took me a while to understand the idea of creamy sauces on pasta dishes…For the first time I saw people putting dashes of lemonade into beer – what a strange habit to spoil perfectly lovely beverage! That I still don’t understand even today…

Why is it important to write all this down and how is it relevant to being an au pair? I believe it is good to mention these feelings and observations because being separated from your family, being far away from what you know and far from the safe territory of your homeland are big factors to consider before becoming an au pair for the first time. Sometimes we can underestimate how important these factors are for the young ‘au pairs to be’ and host families of these ‘au pair novices’.