AuPairs & Host Families -

We don’t want you to end up like two girls in Sweden from south of Stockholm, hoping to work as au pairs in New York. They lost more than 100,000 kronor (more than 10,000 Euro) to a fraudulent travel agency which promised them to arrange everything for their trip but when the agency kept demanding more and more money, the girls became suspicious.

To read the full article visit http://www.thelocal.se/28584/20100826/

For tips on how to stay safe, read our earlier aupairs scam warning post:

http://www.myaupairbook.com/blog/2010/07/watch-out-fraud-prevention-tips/

Below is an article about the benefit of hosting an aupair that I found on the free press release website and with which I agree and wish to share with you.

“These days it is a more common place occurrence to have an AuPair for your family, someone you can trust to take care of your children for you, and help to maintain a happy and organised home.

Many working parents are exhausted and find themselves time poor when it comes to spending quality time with the family. Long working hours, and a busy social life can add to the strain. Striking that all important work-life balance in your family can be a difficult task - there is always something that needs to be done. Time to relax is scarce, and the housework can mount up.

The rush to get everyone ready and out of the door in the morning, the house work and cooking, laundry, errands to run, dogs to walk, and not to mention spending quality time with the children, can all leave parents exhausted and in need of help.

If you could have someone who would live in your home, and help you to take care of your children and your housework, you could find yourself with the work life balance you need to start enjoying life again. Knowing that your children are being looked after, they have everything they need - their homework is being done - and they are happy and comfortable with the person who is looking after them, can provide you with peace of mind, and a clear head to get on with your day.

If you have found yourself wondering “Do I need an AuPair for my family?” then the answer could be yes. There are many agencies that can organise an AuPair for you, based on criteria that you have specified, but now there is a smarter way to make arrangements.

Online, there are portals that allow families and AuPairs or Nannies, to connect and meet, make arrangements and discuss plans themselves - without the need for a middle man. A fuss free and easy way to meet your next AuPair is only a few clicks away, using the internet. Why waste time and money having someone else find the person that might come and live with you, when you could do it yourself, and review all your options personally. You may find an AuPair who is planning to come and stay in your country, but lives overseas. Someone who could bring cultural diversity to your family, as well as all the help you need.
An AuPair for your family could be the solution your family needs to get back on track and enjoy quality time together. The Work-Life Balance you crave could be as easy to find as hopping online and meeting the person you need. A person who can come into your home, and fulfil all the needs you specify. Your family can only benefit from an AuPair, and you could find yourself with free time to start living again!”

If you are looking for an AuPair or Nanny for your family then http://www.myaupairbook.com is the place to start your search now!

When Astrid arrives Harry likes her even though she seems a bit strange. The reason for her ’strangeness’ is that she is not an ordinary girl. She came down-to-Earth from another planet called Antalusia as part of her ‘Project 492′: a study of home life in a typical Earth family, with particular reference to young humans. Her planet is 500 light years away!

Astrid is a fast learner, though she has a problem with understanding some English expressions and words for objects and activities that they don’t have in Antalusia. One of many funny episode unfolds when mum asks Astrid to vacuum the front room while she is gone. Harry could not hear the sound of the vacuum cleaner and when he checked Astrid, she seemed to be hard at work.  But she was not hoovering. She had got lots of bits of cloth and was stuffing them around the window frames. When Harry asked her what she is doing, she said she is sealing the windows: “For vacuum, of course! You have to seal any outlets to get a vacuum. Surely you know that?” And then Harry consults his clever friend to find out what happens if you make a vacuum in someone’s front room and his friend tells him that the room will implode! Upon hearing that Harry decides very quickly to introduce Astrid to the vacuum cleaner and explains how it works. This kind of ‘misunderstanding’ can happen to any new au pair - even an Earth au pair - as their command of the country’s language may be limited. It is important to communicate clearly and in a very straightforward way with your au pair. This particularly applies if your family’s language is not their first language. You can read how important this is in my older blog entry called my au pair duties and excuses….

Astrid and Harry get up to more adventures but unfortunately after a year in Harry’s family Astrid has to return home, like all au pairs always do.

My daughter and I have enjoyed reading this charming and funny book. If you are thinking of inviting your first au pair into your family, it may be a nice book to read to your children to introduce them to the idea of having a new person in your home. Though any Earth au pair will have a hard job competing with Astrid’s abilities and her out-of-this-world gadgets such as her cool SmartCase that floats in the air and contains a lot amazing stuff  :-)

Too good to be true!

I have been using au pair/family finding sites for the last 4 years and as mentioned in my earlier blog posting, we have been lucky to find really nice and genuine au pairs. It is very disappointing to see that not everyone using such sites is a genuine au pair and a genuine host family. There are a few unscrupulous individuals that will try to scam you. Be smart and be safe - validate everything because some schemes are elaborate involving false identities, false doctors, false travel agencies etc. Don’t be fooled by them; don’t let them to manipulate you by the lies in their e-mails and calls.

Tips that will help you to determine that your au pair/host family are genuine:

• Trust your intuition. Please use common sense and caution if you have any suspicion about a user and report it to us immediately.
• When calling an au pair/family (and we recommend that you make several calls) verify the name of the person that answers the phone to ensure it is the person that gave you the phone number. Don’t ask for them by their name and let them tell you their name.
• Verify the location of IP address for e-mails you receive to ensure that they originate from the area/country where your contact supposedly lives.
• It is recommended that you do not provide anyone any sensitive information about yourself such as your bank account number, your passport number or photocopy of your passport, and your social security number.
• Do not send cash, cheques, Western Union or MoneyGram payments to aupairs or host families!
• If someone offers you an advanced cheque/money for anything - don’t respond to them.
• If you receive a cheque - don’t cash it or deposit it.
• We review each new memeber profile daily to ensure we display only genuine users but should any of our sites members offer you pocket money/salary that seems way above the usual amount please e-mail us at info@myaupairbook.com so we can remove them from our site.
• Should any of our site users ask you to send money please ignore them and let us know their profile name and we will remove them from our site.
• If you had a bad experience with an au pair, family or agency, please e-mail us at info@myaupairbook.com

Example of classic scam e-mail:

Hello Au pair,

I saw your profile on the au pair site.
We are a British family living in London, UK. I work for Royal Dutch
(shell petroleum).A British Based Multinational Oil and Gas Company.
We currently have some kids aged 3 & 5 years old, we looking for a Au
Pair or Nanny from Any Country that can speak English and is willing
to stay with us for a minimum of 6 or 12 month(s).
About Our Family
We are a professional couple, living here in the UK .Our kids are
fairly easy going and relaxed,they would enjoy someone with lots of
energy and enthusiasm.. Having English as a first language is not
required and in fact, we would entertain the nanny speaking to them
in her own mother-tongue..
We only seek a Au pair for basic child care and light housework. If
you accept to take a position with us, you would be paid  the sum of
£1800(One thousand eight hundred pounds sterling) with a weekly
pocket money of £200. …

Anything that seems too good to be true is too good to be true!

Today, my children are growing up in Ireland and they see Easter as a chocolate feast. After long length (during which they make half hearted effort to give up some treats) they are really looking forward to Easter Sunday which means getting, opening and eating loads of eggs (chocolate ones, not real ones!).

The one Easter Czech tradition that I am trying to keep alive for them though is dyeing and decorating eggs during the Easter week. All the au pairs that we had during spring season in the last few years are always evolved and help them with it. What they children really enjoy is going to a shop, buying a large tray of eggs and them making a small hole at each end of an egg and blowing hard to get the content of the egg out. This year we have ended up with 14 egg yolks/whites and as a result, they then baked a dozen of muffins and a big cake and there still were some left for scrambled eggs for breakfast! And of course the Easter lamb or bunny mould is essential baking equipment in my kitchen. Somehow a cake in a shape of a cute bunny tastes better than an ordinary shaped cake. Happy Easter!

We had a couple of au pairs where we can say it did not work out as well as we have hoped for. One stayed just a week after she had realised that being an au pair is not really a job where you would earn loads of money and she was not able to cover the mortgage for a flat she was hoping to let prior to her departure to Ireland. She was in her late twenties and was used to her independence - financial and other. She thought to start as an au pair first to improve her English and then to move onto something else. She clearly did not know about what au pairing is going to be like so she quit after a week.

For all au pairs to be - rule number one: if you want to be an au pair make sure you understand that being an au pair is a cultural exchange experience rather than a full wage paying job. In return for helping to look after children and do a little bit of light house work you will become part of a new family, have your room with full board and receive weekly pocket money. The pocket money is usually just enough for a few treats, trips around the country, maybe to pay for a language course. I have been an au pair a few times myself and never really managed to save any money but spent it all on having a good time, getting to know the country and paying for a language course. But that was exactly what I intended to do.

Another au pair we had left after a week because she was too homesick and missed her boyfriend and family too much. This is tricky because one never knows how they would feel when they leave their loved ones for the first time and go far away. Some people can cope with separation and new environment quite well while others don’t and unless one tries, it is never quite straight forward.

Both situations have left us in a difficult position as we had to make alternative arrangements in regards to child care very fast but there was nothing we could do and it was for the better. Nobody wants to see an upset, homesick or unhappy au pair in their house.

Then we had an au pair, which was not homesick or looking to earn loads of money but who was extremely quiet. She played with our younger one nicely, she could sit on the floor with him building houses from Lego for hours but she barely spoke to him. We have tried to ask her questions to build up some connection, rapport and understanding but after receiving just monosyllabical answers or mere nods, we have given up after a few weeks. This young girl stayed with us for five months and wanted to continue for another five but we have decided that our children need more verbal communication and warmer interaction. It was a hard decision because we did not want to hurt her feelings as she was a nice 19-year old girl but the whole atmosphere in the house was making us all feel a bit subdued.

If it happens that the chemistry between the family and the au pair is not there, then it may be best to end an unhappy or unsatisfactory arrangement. Let’s hope that if you ever have to consider parting with an au pair earlier than expected, that you will both part on good terms and both of you will be able to find a suitable match through our www.myaupairbook.com fast. Remember, there is a lid for every pot!

Rebecca, our aupair, and our children Clara and George made a big batch of gingerbread dough yesterday and baked lots of little gingerbread Christmas themed shapes today. When I got home from work, the house smelled of ginger and cinnamon and fresh baking – what a lovely smell!

The recipe for the dough we use is great because it’s easy to make and the biscuits will not break your teeth unlike other gingerbread biscuits we have made in the past

If you want to try it out, then here is the recipe (for Christmas or Easter we usually make a double batch):

• 350g/12oz plain flour
• 2 tsp ground ginger
• 1tsp bicarbonate of soda
• 100g/4oz butter, cubed
• 150g/5oz soft light brown sugar (white is ok too)
• 4tsb golden syrup
• 1 medium egg, beaten
• 1-2tbsp milk
• 1 tbsp cocoa
• Tubes of coloured writing icing, or make your own white icing

Makes 10 big or 20 smaller biscuits

Prep: 20 mins (I like to leave the dough then in a plastic bag or cling film in a fridge for a few hours or even overnight)

1. Preheat the oven to 190C/Fan170C/Gas Mark 5. Sift the flour, ginger and bicarbonate of soda into a bowl. Add the butter, rub in using your fingertips until the mixture resembles fine breadcrumbs. Stir in sugar.
2. Beat syrup and egg together until blended. Pour over dry ingredients. Stir with a fork until mixture starts to stick together in lumps. If it is too dry, add 1-2 table spoons of milk. Gather together using your hands and form dough. Knead lightly until smooth. Roll out on a lightly floured surface to about 3 or 4mm.
3. Cut out shapes using gingerbread or other shapes cutters (if you want to hang them up on your Christmas tree, then you can make a small hole for a ribbon by using drinking straw). Place well apart on baking sheets. Bake for about 8 minutes or till it starts to brown at the edges. Cool for 1 minute and carefully transfer to a wire rack. Leave until completely cool and only then decorate with tubes of writing icing and sweets, using a little icing to secure.

Bon appetite!

Rebecca is from Germany and from all the letters and parcels that have started arriving in the last few days, we can see that Christmas is a very important event in her life too. She got the most wonderful Advent Calendar hand-made by her grandmother. You can see it on the picture. Each sock has a little surprise for the 24 days before Christmas Day. The children are anxiously awaiting the 1^st of December so they can see what each of them contains. Of course they wish it was for them! This year, they will have to be satisfied with one of the chocolate calendars from a local supermarket.

Next year, we can be more organised and create a special Advent Calendar like Rebecca’s one. It will be a nice activity for all of us.

I am thrilled with the great work by brilliant web designer Ruth Egan from Fireball Media Group! She has been a real pleasure to work with. Throughout the project we were on the same wave link when it comes to the visual and functional design of my brand new exciting site for au pairs and families! Somehow we did not need too many words in describing how the site needs to look and feel, there was a mutual feeling of understanding what will distinguish our site from other au pair/host families websites.

I believe we have achieved what we set out to achieve at the start - to have a several social media tools incorporated into a really clean and well functioning site. I hope that you agree and if you are going to use our services, I am looking forward to receiving feedback from you. There is always space for improvements!

Photo by Jana Rabenhauptova

When it was coming towards the end of our first au pair Jana’s stay, we have started to look for a new au pair. We have clearly left it a little too late as she was leaving in late May 2007 and we did not start to look till March/April. We have contacted two Cork based au pair agencies. One did not respond to our e-mail or voice-mail at all (and it is an agency approved by IAPA!), the second one had no suitable candidates at such short notice. Apparently there is always a shortage of au pairs and families need to apply many months in advance. 

Meanwhile, we have turned to the internet and found Christelle via www.aupair-world.net as mentioned in the previous blog entry. The premium membership for this site was 39 Euro for 3 months and we were very lucky finding a suitable candidate within a few days.

Then suddenly in June, we heard from the Cork agency that they have a suitable candidate that can start in July. The agency sent us a few Word documents with T&Cs, information about what is an au pair, when to call them and not to call them and most importantly their price list. An au pair that would stay for 6 months ‘costs’ 400 Euro. The agency has asked us to fill in ‘Welcome letter’ and ‘About our family letter’. They did not visit our house, nor did they ask for reference. 

The Au Pair application we have received contained these sections: personal information, education, employment history, childcare experience, family preferences, domestic duties, declaration about having clean criminal record, ‘Dear family letter’, photos, references from a teacher and a neighbour, medical info stamped by a doctor, copy of passport and signed ‘Au Pair Agreement’.

The applicant was Andrea from Munich, Bavaria, Germany. She sounded like a lovely person and we thought that if she works out and is as good as Jana or Christelle, then 400 Euro is still worth it even though it is a lot of money for an application form only! The agency does not do any vetting; we still had to do the same ‘research’ and ‘getting to know them’ before arrival as with Christelle, which we met via the WEB.

Andrea came at the end of August and she ‘overlapped’ with Christelle for a couple of days. This is always a good idea when you are happy with the ‘old au pair’. I would not recommend if the ‘old au pair’ has a few habits that you would rather the ‘new au pair’ not to pick up. You may be better off to start out fresh.