Tips for Au Pairs

Let’s say it right at the start: the au pair program isn't for everyone. If you are an independent young adult that likes children, likes getting to know new cultures and countries, then the au pair program may be suitable for you. If you are a home bird, really dependant on your family, very close to your girlfriend/boyfriend and don’t really like looking after children, then you should think twice. It may be a good idea to talk to some who has ‘worked’ as an au pair before and if you don’t know anyone, why not to participate in our forum and ask all the questions that may be on your mind?!

What is an Au Pair?

Au pairs can be of male or female gender. The majority of au pairs are female however if a family has a few active young sons, a male au pair may be a suitable choice to keep them active and motivated.

As per Wikipedia: “The title comes from the French term au pair, meaning "on a par" or "equal to", indicating that the relationship is intended to be one of equals: the au pair is intended to become a member of the family, albeit a temporary one, rather than a domestic servant. In the best circumstances, both parties benefit from learning about the other's culture and will remain on good terms long after the au pair has left the family.”

An au pair is also an extra pair of hands available to help your family with childcare and light housekeeping. The amount of hours varies in different countries (generally between 25 hours and 40 hours).

You should think about an au pair as an extended member of your family; a big sister or brother to your children.

They must be given plenty of time to attend languages lessons, meet with friends, and take trips to get to know your local and country.

What an Au Pair is Not!

Au pairs are not your employees; they are not your servants. They are not your replacement; your children still need loving and caring parents! Au pairs are not solely responsible for the care of your children. They are also not responsible for heavy housekeeping and they should not be the sole keepers of your house. If you need someone to wash your windows, scrub your floors or cut your grass, then dedicate that to someone else but not your au pair.

A good starting point for you to find out more about ‘au pair world’ is to read the section called Tips For Families.

What applies to the families applies to you. In order for it to work and to be a successful and enjoyable experience, both parties have to follow certain rules. The most important is open and efficient communication.

2 great rules to keep in mind that will help you to be a successful au pair

1. All of you should work as hard as possible to make it work.

2. Deal with things as they arise. Speak about what’s bothering you, don’t bottle it up!

Finding the Right Family

It's all about getting the right fit for you. Consider what is important to you; maybe discuss it with your family or friends that know you well. Read thoroughly through each Famiy Profile to see what information you can find easily on each form (how many children they have, where they live, how far a public transport stop is etc...). Develop you own list of additional questions such as (“Are there any other au pairs around?”, “How far is the nearest swimming pool/cinema etc.?”). Give more thought to what type of family will best fit your personality. Are you looking for a family with many children or just one or two, young or older children, rural or urban area, with pets or without?

The best way to get to know the person/family a little more is through real-time chatting through our website or by taking to them via Skype, ICQ or over the phone. Especially on a second or third call/chat, you may be more confident to ask more specific question that may help you to learn much about the family and their situation. Questions such as: “Will I have to be at home at a certain time on weeknights, when I will be working the following morning?”, “If my friend (boyfriend/girlfriend) comes to visit me, can he stay in the house?”, “How often will I have to babysit in the evenings?”, “How many days holidays am I entitled to?”…

Remember, au pair’s main responsibility is usually to help the family with childcare, so don’t forget to ask especially about the children, about what they are like and what they like doing.

Trust your instincts with your impressions. If not sure, get a second opinion from someone that knows you. Often another person may have notice things in application that you may have overlooked. Make the best decision you can with all the information and feeling you have. Do not hesitate to reject an application from a family you are not sure about would be the right for you. Remember, you will be part of a new family for several months and you want the best experience for you and them too.

Your Au Pair Profile

To find the best fit also depends on how well you fill in your profile on www.myaupairbook.com and what additional information you will share with your potential candidates.

It is important that you share as much relevant information as possible and also that you that upload a photo with your profile and also maybe a short video as that helps the family to see if you are the kind or person they are looking for.

When it cannot be fixed

It happens that the chemistry between the family and the au pair is not there and then it may be better to end unhappy or unsatisfactory arrangement. Sometimes au pairs leave because they are homesick or because the au pairing experience is not what they thought it was going to be. Sometimes they miss their boyfriends/girlfriends; sometimes they want a family with more or less children or in a different location. Let’s hope that if you ever have to consider parting with your family earlier than expected, you will part on good terms and both will be able to find a suitable match through our services again. Remember, there is a lid for every pot!

If you have more questions, then participate in our forum or e-mail info@myaupairbook.com